Seven Tips to Help You Adjust to Married life
Have you ever heard that a wedding lasts for one day, but a marriage lasts a lifetime?
It’s easy to get caught in the excitement of the wedding and forget about the changes that will occur after the vows and bouquets have been thrown.
How can someone prepare for something that they have never experienced before?
Let me tell you a bit about the transition I made from being single to marriage.
1. You get to live together!
I didn’t know what you were thinking, but I was thrilled to move in with Kyle. Although it’s been fun, living together has also been an adjustment.
Your spouse and you will always be together. It’s not only part of the time. It’s Every. Single. Day.
Marriage brings two people with very different expectations, habits and patterns together under the same roof. You have to create a new life with your partner.
2. You Have Expectations as a Spouse
In the first months of our marriage, I discovered that dinner was a stressful part of my life.
My husband is a big eater, so cooking is not my forte. When I failed to do so, I felt like I had failed my marriage. Someone reminded me it was okay to not be a world-class chef or to even cook at all.
We have to put aside our preconceived notions about our roles and figure out together what works best for our marriage.
Communicate your expectations to your spouse and trusted friends who are married in a way you admire.
In prayer, you should bring your expectations to God. Ask Him to reveal to you what He wants you to become as a wife.
3. You realize how different your families are
My husband does not come from a divorcing family. Our families also operate differently. As soon as we got married, we started comparing our family dynamics. We then began to ask who was right, and how we should make decisions.
You and your partner should both adopt healthy habits from the families of each other that will work well for the new family unit you’re creating. You may also come up with your own ideas.
4. There is Someone on Your Side
It’s easy to think that you are alone if you come from a dysfunctional or divorced family.
This is how I have felt most of my adult life.
My family is a great support system. I didn’t realize it until I saw my husband fighting with me.
My husband and I work together, so I no longer feel the loneliness and pressure I used to.
5. Your money goes from mine to ours
I am a Spender who married a Saver. We have a joint bank account so my husband can track everything I purchase and holds me accountable. When money is transferred from my account to ours, it’s difficult.
I don’t have to ask for permission to spend our money. But in order to feel like a part of the “we”, I am learning to speak with my husband – and he to me – before we do.
6. Communication Is Key
A healthy marriage is built on the ability to communicate. You can’t just be yourself and express your feelings. Someone else needs to be brought into your life.
Communication isn’t about just talking; it’s also about intimacy and openness. It must include asking forgiveness and confessing our sins to God and to each other.
Marriage counseling can help you improve your communication skills if you are having difficulty. Counseling is not an indication of a bad marriage; it is a sign that you want to maintain a healthy relationship.
7. Your Decisions Are Not Yours Alone
Now you have to consider another person when making decisions. All decisions will affect your spouse, big or small. Your spouse will be affected by all your decisions.
Even the decisions about meals, moving, starting a new family, or getting a pet are made together. It’s a big change from being single.
As you adjust to all of the changes that you will experience as a newlywed, it’s okay to mourn your loss of freedom while also celebrating the joys and perks of marriage.