The prayer we pray should be able to help us overcome our desire to satisfy our sexual urges and desires, which are among our strongest drives (not a new revelation!). We all have strong urges.

Start with God’s intention. Why “invented” He sex? You know, he did come up with it. It was not Hugh Hefner or Penthouse who came up with it. Genesis 1:27 states that “God created man in His image…male and female, He created them.” Sex is not a secondary thought, or a way to have more babies. It is more important to consider sex as an essential quality that permeates every life on our planet. Sex isn’t first and foremost something we do, it’s who we are.

The majority of people believe that sexual sin is a matter of breaking Victorian taboos.

Genesis 2:24 reveals God’s intention: “For this reason a man will leave his mother and father, and cleave with his wife. They shall become one flesh.” This is contrary to the popular belief that any sexual relationship that consenting adults have between themselves can be good or neutral.

Let me describe the Biblical intention for marriage, at the risk of sounding anachronistic to our world of divorce. Marriage is a lifelong, loving and committed union between one man and one women, which has been formally declared and is entered into in front of society. This is the basis of a new family. Marriage ceremony is a way to tell society that a couple has committed themselves to each other for life.

“Hands Off This Man” “Hands off this man” They are not available anymore. They have been spoken for. They are now committed to eachother.” This means that marriage creates a moral fence between the two people.

The sexual relationship outside this “fence”, is not protected and can lead to great griefs and complications that are beyond the moral scope of the blessings intended by God for husband and spouse.

God’s intention in the sexual union of spouses is threefold: to provide pleasure, to propagate and to prevent. Christians are often criticized for being prudish, while the society touts sex to be pleasurable. But God has always intended that sex is for pleasure. In Genesis 18:9-12, Sarah, who was old, asks herself whether she will have “pleasure” with sex in her old age. What about Genesis 26.7,8 where the King James Version describes Isaac “sporting” with Rebekah (don’t ya just love that?). Deuteronomy 24, verse 5, tells a newlywed to “cheer” her for a whole year. The entire Song of Solomon is the most sacred “marriage guide” ever written.

It is obvious that the purpose of sexual unions is to propagate. The Bible says: “Now, the man had relations and his wife Eve conceived and delivered …”” (Genesis 4:4). Before the Fall, God blessed Adam and Eve’s union and instructed them to “be fertile and multiply”(Genesis 1:28). The command was the same then as it is now.

Prevention is the third reason for sexual union. What do you mean? First Corinthians 7 verse 2 says, “But due to immoralities, each man should have his wife and each woman her husband.” This is to prevent what we see today, sexual relationships between people who are not married. God wants to protect individuals and society, but humans refuse grace.

Isn’t that the crux of it? God may have noble intentions, but our world is a shithole. We think, we look, and we do cruddy things. Most of us who read this are Christians. We’re probably more committed to our faith than most. And we struggle with our thoughts, our eyes, and some of our actions. Some have stopped struggling, and even given up, because it feels good.

This is when prayer is very important – I realize that I’m tempted (and sometimes give in) to sin by misusing God-given sexuality outside of its intended context and for other purposes than His desire.

See, prayer and issues relating to sexuality or marriage are not aliens. If you don’t trust me, read 1 Peter 3:7 and 1 Corinthians 7:3-5. Also, Genesis 24:12-14. Prayer and sex are more closely related than they appear in these passages. Prayer can also help with restoration, reversal and resistance.

First, restore. Psalms 66:18 has a very resolute tone. If I fondle (wink at, leave undisturbed, or let lie) my iniquity, the Lord won’t hear me. There is no restoration until you admit that you have sinned. David’s prayer of confession in Psalm51 after his sexual failure serves as our model. If I have committed a sin in this area, I cannot say “Oh, well, since I’m already in the gutter, I may as well just roll around for a while!”

We do not come to God in a broken state. Admitting our sin. Confessing our sin and being confident that he will forgive. Psalms 51:17 states, “A broken, contrite heart will you not despise, O God.” Prayer is how we confess our sins and tell God about our cleansing. In prayer, we confess our sins (change our direction) and regain fellowship with God. C.S. Lewis said that we do not need to repent before we return to God. Repentance itself is returning to God.

Second way prayer can help: reverse. Many of us believe that God may forgive but we are scarred forever. The amazing thing about God’s grace is that he not only forgave, he also gave a fresh start. He can literally reverse the trauma that sexual sin has caused in our lives. Joel 2:25 says, “I will repay you for all the years the locusts have eaten …”

When we turn to Him with repentant prayers (the topic of Joel 2:12-17), the truth is, He will respond. He reverses the process of our life. He gives us a new direction. The deadly toxin is reversed. Prayer is like an IV that allows the divine antidote to flow in and repair the damage we have caused ourselves by being weak or (often) rebellious.

Resistance is a third way to pray about sexual temptation. Jesus twice said “Pray” so that you don’t fall into temptation (Luke 22.40,46). We often use prayer as a way to escape the dark alleys, where we are constantly raped.

Prayer is a powerful tool for both preventing sin and restoring ourselves after sin. The former is clearly preferable because it’s joyful and not painful. It is not true that it’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission. The pain and hurt caused by this philosophy when applied to sex are too great. It was written by the hymn writer, “sweet hours of prayer and often escaped the tempter snare. By thy return sweet hours of prayer.”

In summary, sexuality, God’s gift to humanity, is expressed fully within the moral boundaries of marriage. We all struggle with different kinds of temptations and stumble at some point. Prayer is a powerful tool for overcoming sexual sins and temptations.

The truths we have just discussed are not the only things we need to know, but they are essential if we want to live “normally” as Christians in this imperfect yet blessed world. If you are faced with sexual temptation, the first thing to remember is PRAYER.