How to avoid power imbalances in relationships
If you are in a new relationship or dating someone, it is important to know how to avoid power differences in relationships.
You may have daydreamed about someone you are dating, thinking that they are “just amazing in every aspect; they tick all the boxes.” Or you might assume you know more than you do about them. After a few great dates, you begin to believe that the person is perfect for you.
You’ll find them charming, funny and gorgeous. You start to feel like you have found the ideal partner. You can almost see them slipping into your life.
In reality, you know little about them.
You might be guilty, my friend, of placing your new partner or date on a pedestal. We’ve all done it, so don’t worry. But now is the time to talk about how this can affect our relationships and ourselves.
Avoiding Power imbalances in Relationships
Signs to watch out for:
Pedestalling : Placing someone up on a pedestal causes a power imbalance within the relationship. We can inadvertently reduce our own worth when we elevate our partner’s status. Our happiness may be dependent on the actions of our partner. We might feel like we are constantly looking for their approval or validation. This imbalance can lead to resentment and insecurity. It can also create a toxic dynamic that undermines love and respect.
You can create a power imbalance by unconsciously placing your date in a position of honor. You may unintentionally diminish your value when you elevate your new partner or date to a position of invincibility. You may find yourself doubting your value and worth, and wondering if they’re right for you.
You may find yourself constantly trying to get their approval or validation. You become dependent on them. You might find yourself anxious before dates. You may wonder what each word in a text meant, or worry why they haven’t responded to your message for four hours. This imbalance can lead to resentment and insecurity. It can also create a toxic dynamic that undermines love and respect.
Other things to watch out for include:
Loss Personal Identity
You might lose track of your own value. You may lose sight of your own worth. You lose yourself when your life revolves around them. A healthy relationship is a partnership in which both partners are valued.
Communication Failure: The placement of pedestals often results in a breakdown of communication. You are hesitant to share your true feelings, fears or concerns, because you do not want to ruin the good thing. Avoiding issues or discussing how you can improve individually and as a couple.
You are afraid that pointing out what is bothering you may break the connection or make him think that you are not who you would like them to see you as. Healthy relationships are built on honest and open communication. It is important to create a space where partners can be honest and vulnerable.
Pedestalling can be a common mistake I see women make when dating or starting a relationship.
You might not even be aware that you’re doing it. Check in with yourself. Observe how you feel when you think about them. Are you feeling insecure, or do you fear you will mess up or need to prove yourself?
Sign up for my Let’s Talk Love Call or read some of my other blog posts, such as How To Deal With Overwhelming Feelings While Dating Attracting the Right Man and Are You Holding Back In Dating?