How to Turn Your Relationship from Fantasy to Reality

One day, I was on a radio program when a young lady called and said that she didn’t understand what to do about her boyfriend. When I asked her what she meant, the young woman said she struggled with whether she should break up, or continue, become more serious, and move towards marriage.

“Well, when couples love each other, and they are thinking about getting married,” I said, it is usually pretty obvious to them. Otherwise, why would anyone even consider such a serious commitment? For some reason it’s not the case with you and him. What are the reasons?

She hesitated and began, “Well… “. There are certain things I wish were different.

“That’s quite normal.” “No one person can have everything we want”, I reasoned. What are they?

“Well, I guess he doesn’t pay much attention to our relationship. It’s as if I am always pushing for more time together or to discuss things we need to discuss. His hobbies and friends seem to be more important than mine. He might not call or even play basketball when we are on a date. Then he will come over later, thinking that it is okay.

“He says he respects my physical limits but he keeps pushing me to have sex. I don’t like it, but I am forced to keep saying no. It is me who has to insist on a spiritual life. “I wish he were interested in spiritual matters and growing as a human being.”

“Wow,” said I. “That’s quite a bit to worry about.” What’s your question?

She asked, “Well,” “I’m not sure if I want to break up with him. Or if we should go ahead and get engaged.”

I asked, “What have you done about this?”

She replied, “I’ve talked to him quite a bit.” “I told him I wanted to feel important to him, that I wanted us to have a relationship of spirituality and that he should respect my limits.

“That’s good,” I said. What happened?

He says, “He gets it.” He says that he agrees with me and wants the same as I do. She said, with a slight drop in voice: “He is a good guy.” But then, nothing changes. “I still feel that I am the only one trying to make things better.”

“Okay, question. Why don’t end the relationship and move on if you’ve tried everything and nothing changed? If you’re not happy and it’s not working as you would like, why do you keep trying and hoping for a change, but you’ve tried and failed to achieve that goal. Why on God’s green Earth are you even thinking of being serious, let alone marriage? “He is not interested in being the person you want, so why are you still on this road?”

Here it was: the moment which revealed why so many young women are stuck. She replied, “Because he is my husband.”

How can you prevent this type of pain from happening in your dating relationships? Look at the causes of ‘date diseases’ which take women to places they don’t wish to be.