How to be a good neighbor
We had an idea to throw a small, informal block party. We invited the people we knew from the neighborhood, about 15 or 20 neighbors.
We had no grand visions at the time of what God would do with a small step. We just thought it was fun to gather some neighbors.
Even small steps can lead to big changes
It’s been eight years since then and I am amazed at how much our village has grown. There are now about 200 houses in the village. We have a Facebook page, a neighborhood group, running groups, and many fun events every year: an Easter Egg Hunt, Fourth of July bike ride, and Christmas Party where Santa appears (alongside a competition for Christmas lights).
We worked with our neighbors a few years back to throw a halloween extravaganza. Kids picked up treasure maps, followed them through 12 different stations, including a haunted house, hot chocolate, s’mores, apple cider, hayrides and movies. We organized station teams and encouraged our neighbors to remain outside on that night. The night was not only a blast for kids and adults, but also built a strong community!
Impact of Community
It’s rewarding to see how these events impact people’s lives. At a ladies night out, a recently divorced woman told me that this was her first experience living on her own. She looked each woman directly in the eye as she thanked her for living in a welcoming, open community.
If needed, the community can watch someone’s child for a day. You can have someone pick up your mail when you are away or ask for sugar if you run out. You can watch your children play with 10 other kids in the backyard and hear them laugh and yell through your kitchen window. Knowing that help is literally next door, not if you need it but when.
What can you do to build a neighborhood community?
Assess what you are able to offer. I don’t have the time to commit weekly because I have four young children. However, I can plan some parties throughout the year. Remember that God can use your unique wiring and temperament, your family dynamics, your interests, or even your limitations, to bring him glory. There is no one way to be a neighbor. Here are some principles and ideas that can help us in our quest to be good neighbours.
1. Get a few neighbors together for a meal.
A simple invitation to your house can be a great way to improve your relationship with your neighbors. Our friends wanted to make it easy, so they invited the houses near them over for ice-cream.
2. Recall people and their names.
I keep a list on my phone of neighborhood information so that I can quickly jot names down when I meet someone in the pool. Remember to listen when people talk. This shows that you value and appreciate them.
3. Make Yourself known.
It’s risky to take the first step when you don’t know what you’re going to do. Often, people wait for someone else take the initiative.
4. Be Generous
We didn’t start with a budget. We used to purchase all the food, as well as the candy and eggs for the Easter Egg Hunt. Others would chip in to cover the costs, and provide tablecloths, utensils and other items. We viewed it all as an investment for the neighborhood and it helped to create momentum in the early stages.
5. Be available and say yes when you can.
Try being outside more. Spend time outside, go for walks, wave at people, and spend some time in your yard. Spend time in common areas if you live in an apartments. These things all say “I am available and I am here.” When your neighbor asks you for help, say yes.
6. Bring Others into the Action!
This is a huge deal. If they have personally invested in the community and served, even if it is a small role, people will feel more connected.
7. Be resourceful.
One evening, I searched for “Block Party City of Columbia Grant” on Google. Within 10 minutes I had answered a few questions and submitted an application for $250 to purchase a popcorn maker — all using my iPhone. We were approved a few weeks later! Businesses in the area may be willing and able to give away free items as an advertising tool.
8. Do not have ulterior motives.
The larger dreams, hopes and desires that you have will determine who you are. We have discussed our desire to see God’s grace spread over our entire neighborhood and to help our neighbors know Jesus Christ. We care about the gardens, jobs, kids, bachelor’s degree programs and aging parents of our neighbors. When you care about the everyday aspects of someone’s life, you can make small talk that is more meaningful.
9. Receive with grace and ease.
The authors of The Art of Neighboring Dave Runyon & Jay Pathak discuss what it means to be able to receive help from our neighbors. “If we refuse to allow others to take care of our needs, then we limit the work that God can do in our community and our lives. We tend to place ourselves in a position of power, in this case always being the giver. … Giving is a two-way street. Everyone feels valued. [Receiving]takes humility.”