What will you feel loved if you don’t use social media?

Have you ever deleted an image because it did not get enough likes on social media? I have.

I can remember a moment when I refreshed my notifications about ten times in one minute. While watching, my husband quietly asked: “Did I post that picture of us because you were proud of me or did you only care about likes?”

Ouch. At that moment I knew I was in trouble.

Social media is the core of my job, and I think it has a lot to offer.

Social media is a new way to connect and communicate with people around the globe.

It can also create a disconnection between us and those around us.

The excessive use of social media can lead to loneliness

Social media was designed to foster a sense community. This doesn’t mean we will have the relationships that we need.

We can be distracted from a deeper relationship with people we meet in person if we rely solely on digital technology.

Facebook admitted in a recent press release that people who spend a great deal of time passively reading information, but without interacting with others, report feeling worse afterwards.

People need to be able to communicate with other people in real-time. It may be more difficult, messy, and risky, but it is what we are made for.

Social media is a poor substitute for an encouraging word

All of us need encouragement and affirmation from time to time. That’s natural. In our modern world, social media is the place to go when we are looking for that.

It’s easy to let the reactions of others to a picture post determine our mood. But those likes are also replacing verbal compliments, displays of love and appreciation.

Imagine your birthday. You may remember receiving many cards on your birthday. How many have been replaced with a “like” on social media, or a pre-written comment?

It’s more common to share on social media how we feel about our friends than to tell them directly.

Social media affirmations don’t seem as powerful whether you are giving them or receiving. Coded criticisms of others on the internet lacks courage and integrity.

What can I do to keep social media in its place?

• Experience more, document less. Last time you attended a special event and left your phone behind, did you just enjoy the moment?
• Drop the phone, and go to lunch with your friend. ASK MORE QUESTIONS. Attention to the other person. Make friends that extend beyond the digital world.
• Make sure you are face-to-face with your loved ones before putting screens between you.
• Delete all apps from your mobile phone. Wait, what? How will I get through the day without them, though? You could give someone the chance to help. It might make it easier to ask for your help in the future.

Does my husband still criticize me? Do you mean all the time?

We went on a recent cruise, and it was liberating not to be able use my phone.

We read, talked and made friends with people in our surroundings.

As soon as I got wi-fi, I uploaded a photo of my family that was “adorable”. Then I put down my phone, looked away from the screen and enjoyed the amazing view.

Imagine you are in such a moment and your phone is buzzing. People love the photo, just as you want to share it with the person with whom you are sharing it.

What would you like to do?